I first came to Christ at the age of 20 on my birthday in 1992 after a time of searching for identity and purpose.  JESUS helped me be open socially and more interested in caring about others needs. I joined the college group at church.

After finishing 2 years of community college, I went away from home to live on my own and attend a university.  I was not a part of a church or a Christian fellowship any longer.  I ended up back into the lust of the world and my life fell apart. I went into a deep and dark depression, succumbed to spiritual warfare, and progressed to not eating, suicidal thoughts, and a suicide attempt soon after graduating with a psychology degree in May 1996.

I was admitted into a psychiatric hospital. I remember wanting a pastor to come talk to me and help me through what I was wrestling with.  Before my Mom and Dad left me there, I saw their expressions of  hopelessness, heads turn down toward the ground as if I was a lost cause, and then turn away from me without comforting words  -I knew my only hope was in turning to the LORD solely for deliverance. One of the first nights in pitch black darkness, I sensed satan enter my room as utter trepidation filtered into my heart, soul, and mind and I called for JESUS to help me in my desperation.  The enemy’s presence left and I had faith in the LORD growing inside me.  Though I was still weak physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually I began to be hopeful.  When I was released,  I attended church again as part of the single’s group.  GOD would begin to rescue, restore, and redeem my life.  One of the ways was on week long mission trips to Mexico 3 summers in a row.  Yet, I often went through trying to recommit my life feeling like I still needed to experience salvation more fully, but coming away empty and still feeling far from GOD the FATHER.

GOD opened the door for me to serve at a Christian emergency shelter for abused and neglected children where I met my wife Tami.  GOD built up my faith when I’d pray with the children and HE would take away their nightmares.  I also led one of the youth to a personal relationship with JESUS.  I enjoyed my time growing in my relationship with the LORD, thriving under pressure in crisis situations with children brought into our care, and learning to parent, teach, and ultimately love kids as if they were my own…

After getting married with an expectant hope of being missionaries, I had a relapse of tormenting thoughts and being severely wounded during spiritual warfare in January of 2000.  I was admitted into the psychiatric hospital once again.  I had great fear that I would not be getting out of the hospital this time, felt a sentence of imprisonment, looming death, and that I’d be left behind with thoughts that hell awaited.  While there, I felt I was the cause of others suffering.  I saw people disfigured walking through a hallway during one of the days there.  I was made aware of what some of the agony of hell would be like.  I didn’t fully comprehend what I was going through.  I prayed pleading with GOD to help me and I was soon released a second time.

I was not stable yet and my faith in GOD was fragile, almost non-existent. My wife and I were allowed to stay in a vacant house for a time by some Christian friends.  I was fearful and not eating/drinking during the days while there.  Another friend would let us stay at her house for a few days.  We stayed at an extended stay hotel for a week.  Soon after, we were able to room at another Christian family’s house that took us in long term to support us until getting back on our feet.  

I was able to do some substitute teaching and then work at another emergency shelter where I led another youth to faith in Christ. I would apply for being a teacher for the 2000/2001 school year and asked GOD to open the door to the position HE wanted me to have.  I taught special ed. in a middle school and was an athletics coach.  We began attending church and made some friends.  I served in children’s ministry and I went on a mission trip to Mexico.  I would return to the LORD with a true commitment surrendering my life to JESUS in 2001.  That summer, I went on a mission trip to Quito, Ecuador and served orphans and disabled children.  I had a most wonderful 15 day experience enjoying every moment…

We soon moved from Texas to Florida in the summer of 2002 so that I could help care for my Grandpa who had Parkinson’s disease.  K.O.R.E. ministry, supporting pastors looking after orphans, started in 2004 while there and continues to this day…  I went on a mission trip by myself to Romania to visit orphans one summer.  As my time there progressed, I regressed in my health and fighting for my life spiritually through seeking the LORD and praying for HIS help and support.  I experienced a heaviness of oppression to another degree I hadn’t felt before.  I believe GOD still used me to intercede for the orphans and the people serving there.  Even so, I left early to return home feeling defeated and drained. I learned it is better to have a team rather than go it alone.  I would recover and continue teaching.

After my Grandpa and Grandma died, we moved back to Texas in 2007 so our kids could get to know my wife’s dad. I did fairly well for 4 years. My father-in-law was a an impactful influence in my life personally. He communicated with me often and showed me love in ways that had been missing filling me up in some of my empty spaces… However in 2011, I was preparing to move our family and get a new job in another city and had a mental breakdown while away from home. Then my father-in-law died suddenly and unexpectedly and I returned to my family and performed his funeral. Because of the stress and my inability, we didn’t move and I began substitute teaching during that school year. Over time, I couldn’t handle the stress anymore and my health mentally, emotionally, and spiritually would deteriorate. I would be out of a job for almost a year trying to recover.

After getting another teaching job and several months passing, I would enter a psychiatric hospital a third time dealing with depression, fatigue, and spiritual oppression again in 2014. This time I made a conscious decision to walk through it by faith more so -though still unsteady. I also wouldn’t rely on my wife for support, but fully depend on the LORD through it this time. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and given a medication that helped me. I believe GOD fought my battles that I couldn’t win on my own. It was such a relief and overwhelming feeling when I was finally reunited with my wife and kids… I was able to come back to teaching and finish out the year.

I would enter a psychiatric hospital one last time the next year and I engaged fully by faith and did not fear going through the experience and felt GOD’s presence while there. I grew in my confidence of HIS ability and trusted HE was working out HIS will in my life in special ways. HE won many victories for me personally and, I believe, for others as well during this particular stay. I grew so much in my relationship with the LORD and drew closer to HIM. I learned how to fight in the Spirit, lay down my life for another by faith, and lose my life for HIS name sake to find it again…

Through these turbulent years, HE has proven faithful to bring me through it all, prepared me for serving in ministry, and has purposed to show me mercy and compassion that allows me to love and care for others the same… I have victory in Christ and have been doing better than ever since 2015 onward… JESUS is my source of strength and peace within and I choose to serve my great GOD and KING wholeheartedly… I cannot thank HIM enough nor convey all that HE means to me… I love HIM and HE loves me… When asking HIM what HE wants me to tell others, it’s this: “Tell them JESUS loves them…”